Skip Holiday Diet Talk: What to Say Around Kids This Season

Holiday tables are often full of warmth, tradition, and holiday diet talk kids soak up. If you have ever frozen when someone comments on bodies or “being good” with food, you are not alone.

Maybe someone jokes, “I was so bad with dessert last night. I need to be good today,” or says, “I can’t have bread, carbs are terrible for you.” Kids are right there, listening. You feel that twist in your stomach and want to protect them without starting an argument.

Comments about “being good,” “making up for” food, or how someone’s body has changed can chip away at how kids feel about food and themselves. A few simple phrases can shift the conversation and help kids feel safer in their bodies.

This article offers a starting point for how to respond to holiday diet talk, and our free Healthy Holidays guide includes more ready-to-use scripts and examples.

Why Holiday Diet Talk Matters for Kids

Holidays are packed with things kids remember. Special foods. Traditions. Photos. Big feelings.

Unfortunately, they may also overhear harmful diet talk:

• “I am going on a diet after this.”
• “I should not eat that, it is so bad.”
• “You look amazing. Did you lose weight?”

Over time, comments like these can teach kids that:

• Food is something to earn or burn off.
• Some bodies are “better” than others.
• Their worth is tied to how they look or what they eat.

Kids deserve something different. They deserve to hear that their bodies are worthy of care, comfort, and respect, at every size.

When adults learn what to say instead of diet talk, it helps kids build a healthier relationship with food and body.

Basics to Keep in Mind Before Holiday Gatherings

Here are three simple ideas to carry with you into any holiday gathering.

1. Focus on connection, not calories

Holidays are about being together. Try to keep the focus on memories and relationships, not who “deserves” dessert or needs to “work off” a meal.

2. Keep body comments off the table

Skip comments about who gained or lost weight, who “looks great” because they are smaller, or whose body changed. Kids hear what we praise. Keeping holiday body comments out of the conversation protects them.

3. Trust kids to listen to their bodies

Avoid commenting on what or how much a child eats. They are learning to notice hunger, fullness, and preference. Your trust helps that skill grow.

With these in mind, the phrases below will feel more natural when diet talk starts up at the holidays.

What to Say in Common Holiday Moments

You don’t need a perfect script. You just need a few phrases you can reach for when the conversation turns to diets or bodies.

When someone comments on weight or appearance

“Wow, you look great. Have you lost weight?”

Kids hear that weight loss is what makes someone worthy of praise. They also learn that weight gain is something to avoid or hide.

What to say:

• “It is so good to see you.”
• “You seem really happy. I am glad you are here.”

If you want to gently shift things in front of kids:

• “I try not to talk about weight around the kids. I just love seeing everyone together.”

These small changes help kids see that we value people for who they are, not what they look like.

When someone questions your child’s plate

“Are you sure they should have seconds?”
“Do you really need more pie?”

This can make a child feel watched and judged. It can also teach them to doubt their own body signals.

What to say:

• “They are good at listening to their body.”
• “We let them decide when they are full.”

If you need to set a boundary:

• “I would rather handle food decisions with my kids. Thanks for understanding.”

You protect your child’s trust in their body, and you model a calm, clear limit. This is one way to shut down diet talk at the holidays without a big confrontation.

When food is labeled “good” or “bad” or exercise is used as punishment

“I should not eat that, it is so bad for you.”
“We need to work out tomorrow to make up for this meal.”

Kids hear that some foods, and by extension the people who eat them, are “bad.” They also learn that movement is something you do because you messed up, not because it feels good.

What to say:

• “We like to remember that all foods can have a place. This dessert is part of our holiday tradition.”
• “Let’s go for a walk because it feels nice to move and get some fresh air.”

These phrases keep the focus on enjoyment, connection, and care, not guilt.

When You Catch Yourself Using Old Phrases

You might still hear yourself say, “I feel so gross after eating that,” or “I need to be good tomorrow.” That does not mean you failed. It just means you learned those messages too.

You can correct yourself out loud:

• “Actually, that is not how I want to talk about my body. My body does a lot for me, and all foods can fit.”

Kids learn so much from how you repair. When you shift your language, you show them it is possible to relate to food and body in a kinder way.

Get the Free Healthy Holidays Guide

The good news is that you don’t have to come up with responses on the spot.

Our free Healthy Holidays guide gives you:

• Common holiday comments about food and bodies.
• Word-for-word ideas for what to say instead.
• Simple responses when relatives or friends make comments in front of kids.
• Space to reflect and share with partners, grandparents, and other caregivers.

Download the guide here, keep it on your phone, or print it for the fridge. A few small changes in what you say can help kids focus on what truly matters this season: connection, joy, and feeling at home in their own bodies.

Want a deeper dive?
Watch our What to Say: Holidays Edition (a free 60-minute webinar replay), where Lisa Radzak, Executive Director of WithAll, talks more about holiday food and body talk and how adults can support kids.