What to Say When Your Child Compares Their Body to Others at the Pool

What should you do when your child starts comparing their body to others—especially at places like the pool? In this 90-second video, psychologist and WithAll Expert Advisory Panel member Dr. Charlotte Markey shares practical ways to guide kids through those moments with compassion and clarity.

Watch below, then keep reading for more simple ways to start the conversation.

Why Body Comparisons Are Common and How to Help

It’s normal for kids to compare themselves to others. At the pool, where bodies are more visible, it can feel especially intense. But these moments also give you the opportunity to model body acceptance and help your child build confidence.

1. Ask open-ended questions

When your child says something like “I wish I looked like them,” avoid jumping in to reassure or redirect right away. Instead, ask:

• “What made you notice that?”
• “How does that make you feel?”
• “Do you think everyone is supposed to look the same?”

These gentle questions help kids process their thoughts and invite reflection.

2. Talk about body diversity

Let your child know that bodies come in all shapes, sizes, and abilities, and that’s normal and good. You can say:

“Every body is different. That’s part of what makes people special.”

This helps reduce shame and encourages curiosity, not comparison.

3. Shift the focus to what bodies do

Kids need reminders that their body is more than how it looks. It’s what allows them to move, play, and enjoy the world.

Try saying:

“Your body helps you swim, splash, and have fun. That’s something to be proud of.”

4. Keep the conversation going

This isn’t a one-time talk. By staying open and approachable, you show your child they can come to you with questions and feelings. No shame, no judgment.

Want more practical, everyday tips? Download our free guide, 7 Guiding Principles, to get real-life phrases and examples that support positive body image in kids.