What Is Diet Talk and Why It Matters for Kids’ Health

Diet talk is everywhere. It shows up at family gatherings, on social media, in TV shows, and in the tiny comments we make without thinking. It is so common that many adults are not even aware they are doing it.

But kids hear it. They watch how we talk about food and bodies. They are always paying attention, even when it feels like they are not.

And what they hear from us shapes how they see themselves.

So let’s get clear on what diet talk actually is, why it harms kids, and how small shifts in your language can make a powerful difference.

What We Mean When We Say “Diet Talk”

Diet talk includes any conversation that:

• Restricts foods or food groups
• Connects food choices to weight, shape, or size
• Labels foods as good or bad
• Praises or criticizes the way someone eats
• Sets rigid rules about what or when to eat

Examples you may recognize:

• “I shouldn’t be eating this.”
• “I was so bad today.”
• “Let’s be good and skip dessert.”
• “This food is junk.”

Even when these comments feel harmless or lighthearted, kids hear a deeper message. They learn that some foods are a problem and that their choices make them “good” or “bad.” They also learn to judge themselves based on what they eat or how they look.

“I do not have any labels. I do not call foods “good foods”, “bad foods”, or “junk food”. None of the “all or none” labels…all things are okay in moderation. Psychological health is being able to have all of it in moderation. And eating in a way that’s sustainable till you’re 90.”
– Dr. Carlin Anderson, Ph.D, LP, CMPC

How Diet Talk Shows Up Without Us Realizing It

Diet talk is sneaky. It can sound like:

• Complaining about your body after a meal
• Talking about “earning” food through exercise
• Praising someone for losing weight
• Worrying out loud about “too much sugar”
• Cutting out entire food groups to change appearance

Most adults learned this language from their own upbringing, so it feels normal. But normal and helpful are not the same thing. Kids absorb these messages quickly, and it can shape how they feel about food long before they understand why.

Why Diet Talk Hurts Kids

Kids want to please the adults they trust. When they hear food labeled as good or bad, they often decide they are good or bad based on what they want to eat.

That pressure sticks.

Some kids start avoiding foods they enjoy because they think those foods make them “unhealthy.” Others sneak or overeat those same foods when they feel restricted. Many begin judging their bodies and comparing themselves to others. And for some, this becomes the start of dieting, restricting, or using food to cope.

Research shows that dieting is the number one predictor of a child going on to develop an eating disorder. That risk rises even when dieting seems “gentle” or is done with good intentions.

And the impact is not equal for everyone. Kids in larger bodies, kids of color, trans kids, kids with disabilities, and kids who face food insecurity may feel even more shame or pressure when adults talk negatively about food or bodies.

Kids deserve better. They deserve to feel safe around food. They deserve to trust their bodies and believe that they are enough.

“But some foods are healthier than others. Shouldn’t I teach that?”

Yes, some foods offer more nutrients than others. Kids can learn that. But we can teach it without the fear, shame, or judgment that diet talk creates.

Instead of focusing on which foods are right or wrong, help kids:

• Pay attention to how different foods make them feel
• Learn what different nutrients do for their bodies
• See food as fuel, tradition, connection, joy
• Understand balance instead of restriction

Life is full of long days, busy schedules, celebrations, and imperfect meals. Kids learn confidence around food when we model flexibility and trust instead of worry.

One parent put it simply: “Nutrition matters to me. But so does not giving my kids a weird complex about food.”

That balance is possible.

What to Say Instead of Diet Talk

Here are simple swaps you can use in everyday moments. They keep nutrition conversations open while removing shame.

Instead of: “That’s bad for you.”
Say: “This food gives your body quick energy.”

Instead of: “I need to work this off.”
Say: “Moving my body helps me feel strong.”

Instead of: “I shouldn’t be eating this.”
Say: “I’m choosing something that feels good right now.”

Instead of: “No more sugar. It’s too much.”
Say: “That’s all for today. We can have more another time.”

These small language shifts help kids relax around food. They remind kids that eating is not a test and their worth is not tied to their plate.

The Bigger Picture: You Matter More Than You Think

You do not need perfect language. You do not need to get this right every time. What kids remember is your tone, your modeling, and the feeling that food and bodies are not something to fear.

Every moment you choose curiosity over judgment, you help kids build confidence. Every time you skip the diet talk and focus on well-being, you show them that they are worthy and loved exactly as they are.

And those moments add up. They create a home, classroom, or team where kids can grow without shame.

Take the Next Step

If you want help making simple, powerful shifts in the way you talk about food and bodies, we created a free guide to support you.

Download the 3 Simple Shifts Guide and learn language that helps kids feel good in their bodies and with food.

You can make a difference. It starts with what you say today.