What to Say Instead
Positive Phrases for Healthier Conversations
I want to talk about food and body in a positive way… but how?
Even small changes in what you say to kids can make a big difference.
We're sharing a few everyday phrases you can reframe to help kids build healthy, confident relationships with food and their bodies.
Start with These Simple Language Swaps
When we label foods as “good” or “bad,” or talk about weight and calories, kids can begin to feel shame instead of trust in their own bodies.
These easy language swaps below help you learn What to Say to change the conversation—one phrase at a time—so kids can focus on enjoying food, moving their bodies, and feeling confident in who they are.
What to Say
When Talking About Food
Instead of: “How many calories are in that?”
Say: “No, thank you.”
Why it matters: You can decline food without explanation. Asking for calorie counts or talking about “good” or “bad” foods teaches kids to moralize eating.
Instead of: “You can have an ice cream treat, but only after you finish your carrots.”
Say: “Ice cream comes after dinner.”
Why it matters: Making some foods a reward gives them more power. Treat all foods as part of a normal, balanced meal.
Instead of: “You shouldn’t eat that—it’s bad for you.”
Say: “That’s not on the menu tonight.”
Why it matters: Labeling food as bad can cause guilt or secrecy. Neutral language helps kids make balanced choices.
Instead of: “If you get all A’s, we’ll take you out for pizza.”
Say: “How do you want to celebrate?”
Why it matters: Food rewards can disconnect eating from hunger cues and link it to emotion or self-worth. Celebrate achievements with time together, praise, or experiences instead.
When Talking About Exercise or Movement
Instead of: “I’m definitely going to have to work out if I eat this.”
Say: “This food is incredibly tasty! I’d love a small serving.”
Why it matters: Linking food and exercise implies that eating must be “earned.” Movement should be joyful, not punishment.
Instead of: “Let’s exercise so we don’t gain weight.”
Say: “Let’s get outside and move—it’s fun!”
Why it matters: Connecting movement to weight sends the message that exercise is about appearance. Focus on how movement helps us feel strong, focused, and happy.
Instead of: “You look like you’re getting heavier. We should eat healthier and lose a few pounds.”
Say: “Do you want to do an activity tonight?”
Why it matters: Weight comments can cause lasting harm. Focus on family-wide health habits and joyful movement. If you have health concerns, talk privately with your child’s healthcare provider—and ask them not to discuss weight or BMI directly with your child.
When Talking About Bodies
Instead of: “You look great! Did you lose weight?”
Say: “You look so happy!”
Why it matters: Complimenting weight changes reinforces harmful beauty ideals. Praise character, energy, or kindness instead.
Instead of: “I hate the way my stomach looks in this shirt.”
Say: Say nothing—or show yourself kindness.
Why it matters: Kids notice how adults talk about their own bodies. Model self-respect and compassion, even when you don’t feel your best.
Instead of: “You’re so skinny!” or “You’re getting so big!”
Say: “It’s so good to see you!”
Why it matters: Even well-meaning comments about size can make kids feel that their value depends on appearance. Focus on connection, not comparison.
Small Shifts Add Up
The more you practice these swaps, the easier it becomes to talk about food, body, and health in ways that build confidence—not shame. Every conversation helps kids feel more at home in their bodies.
Watch this free tutorial video and get started today!
More What to Say Resources
Want to help kids feel good in their bodies and with food? Explore more free resources from our What to Say initiative:
- 3 Simple Shifts: Watch a 20-minute tutorial with easy language shifts.
- 7 Guiding Principles: Learn the foundation of positive body and food talk.
- When Kids Talk About Bodies: Find words to use when kids bring up body size.
- A Parent’s Guide to Social Media: Get actionable tips to support kids’ online well-being.
One tip a month to make body talk a little easier.
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These swaps are provided by WithAll, a nonprofit organization dedicated to preventing eating disorders and supporting recovery. Our evidence-based resources have helped thousands of adults create positive environments where young people can thrive.