Helping Girls Build a Healthier Body Image

If your daughter makes negative comments about their body, begin by listening without criticizing or rushing to correct them. Avoid making appearance the focus, praise qualities unrelated to looks, discuss what their body allows them to do, and help them create a healthier social media feed. Small, ongoing conversations can help girls develop a more positive relationship with their bodies.

In this What to Say conversation, Dr. Charlotte Markey, a psychology professor at Rutgers University and author of The Body Image Book for Girls, shares practical ways parents and caregivers can respond to girls’ concerns about appearance, food, and body image.

Remember That Body Dissatisfaction Is Common

Hearing your daughter criticize her body can be upsetting. However, Dr. Markey explains that body dissatisfaction is common among girls and does not necessarily mean a parent has done something wrong.

Approach these comments with curiosity rather than alarm. Give your child room to explain what they are feeling, where the concern came from, and what may be influencing how they see themselves.

Avoid Appearance-Related Comments

Even a well-intended comment about appearance can be interpreted as criticism. Frequently discussing how a child looks can also suggest that appearance is one of the most important things about them.

Offer Compliments That Are Not About Looks

Reinforce the many qualities that make your child valuable. Dr. Markey suggests offering positive feedback about qualities and actions that have nothing to do with appearance.

You might say:

• “You have a great sense of humor.”
• “I appreciate how hard you worked on that.”
• “You were a really good friend.”
• “It is so nice to spend time with you.”

These comments show girls that they are noticed and appreciated for who they are, not simply for how they look. Check out What to Say Instead for more ideas.

Focus on What Bodies Can Do

Another way to support a girl’s body image is to talk about body functionality. This means focusing on how bodies move, work, and help people experience their lives.

Highlight how the body allows them to play, learn, laugh, hug someone, explore the outdoors, or participate in an activity they enjoy.

You can also discuss caring for the body in ways that support health and well-being rather than trying to change its appearance.

Help Create a Healthier Social Media Feed

Social media can contribute to comparison, but children have some control over what appears in their feeds. You can encourage them to follow mental health advocates, body image educators, psychologists, scientists, and others who share supportive information.

It may also help to discuss how following, liking, and engaging with content shapes what social platforms show them. With guidance, girls can build a feed that supports their development instead of continually encouraging appearance-based comparison.

Responding to Negative Body Comments

Supporting a healthy body image is an ongoing process. As Dr. Markey notes, small changes and brief conversations can make a meaningful difference. Parents do not need to handle every moment perfectly. What matters is continuing to listen, learn, and remind girls that their worth extends far beyond their appearance.

To go deeper on this topic, check out WithAll’s Body Comments Guide.

Wondering how to help your child navigate social media without harming their body image? Download our free Parent’s Guide to Social Media for expert-backed tips to reduce harm and build confidence.